Courage
Each race I have been scared. I have been scared because of injury, the course, weather, or most of all, the fear of failing. This time is different. I am EXCITED. I am READY. I am CONFIDENT. Steelhead had a very competitive and fast field in my age group last year. The year before there was a little bit more of a gap between #1 and #2 but this race brings top notch competition. In comparison to previous year’s results, I don't think I will be winning my age group, but I KNOW I will be at MY best. The reason I know that is because of what I have learned these last 3 years while growing and competing in Triathlon. In this post I break down the top 5 things I have learned in Triathlon. These 5 concepts can also be applied to life in general, whoever you are.
1. Slow Down
These last few years have been a roller coaster in learning this sport. I have been fortunate to be coached by Jen Harrison for the last 2 years now. At the beginning of it all she kept saying that my heart rate was way too high and I need to slow down. I did not like hearing this. I am a Type A personality (surprise, surprise as most triathletes are) and I like to go, go, go and I like to go fast. When I am walking down the halls at school teachers comment on how fast I do that. I have had a hard time separating the pace of my runs in particular with the benefits I am getting from it. I have always known that in order to build a base, you need to slow down and be in a certain heart rate zone, the problem is if I don't feel like I am working hard, then to me, I must not be working. WRONG. After much frustration of trying to retrain my brain and realize, hey it's important to slow down, I am FINALLY seeing the positive results. The last few runs I have done, I have been able to control my heart rate and keep it in the proper zones WHILE GOING A DECENT PACE! I am understanding that through patience and discipline I am seeing results. This is one of the reasons why I am so confident in myself leading into Steelhead. I can physically see that my body is prepared to handle the speed I want to hold while keeping my heart rate in the right zone.
Ferris Bueller said it best, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around for a while, you could miss it".
2. Find JOY in the Journey
While I was biking today I was in the zone for my warm up section that I forgot Matt was right behind me. I just kept thinking how awesome it is at how far I have come already as a triathlete, with all the bumps along the way. The power zones I am pushing and holding seemed impossible when I first started. The watts I want to hold for this HIM would have been comparable to my Olympic distance watts when I first started with power. That makes me happy. So Matt had said something to me about how my workouts are going to get shorter after this race because this is my last race of the season. I told him I am so excited because I don't have anything coming up that I have to hold back for. Little did he know, I was already having this thought process that I am pumped to put it all out there and have no fear. Matt, however, is training for his first full Ironman at Madison in September, so he was doing a LOOONG workout today. I admire him and others who do that distance. It seems insane to me right now. Maybe one day I'll get curious and courageous to put my body through that, but for now, I have goals I want to achieve at the 70.3 distance. While Matt and I started out together, he told me that he felt so much better than our last long ride together. He couldn't put his finger on what it was. I am convinced it is attitude. If you go at your workouts with a positive attitude and have peace with what you are doing, it makes a HUGE difference. Before we even started, I told him how proud I was of him. I told him that what he was doing is really brave and awesome. His response was, "Well, I haven't done it yet". And I said back to him, "Yes, but I know you are going to do it. And I am proud of you." We met back up again at the car on his halfway point of his 120 mile bike ride and I told him to have fun! And to look at the clouds and the beautiful day, enjoy! Positive energy does wonders. He came back after his 123 miles and still had a smile on his face and continued to do his run after. He's awesome.
My sister recommended the book “The Energy Bus” by Jon Gordon. He talks about a formula: E + P = O. “E stands for “events” in your life. “P” stands for “perception” (and it also could stand for “positive” energy). “O” stands for “outcome”. You can’t control all the events in your life, but you can control how you perceive them. Your perception can control the outcome. Remember this, positive energy and positive people create positive results”.
3. Peace be the journey :)
I'm sure my nerves will start up like they always do towards the end of the week when the race is getting much closer, but right now, I am positive and at peace. I know I am ready and excited to compete in this race. I want to see how hard I can push myself. As I've said in my Syracuse blog, I've learned that my nerves are a part of me and the pressure I put on myself. My girl Ronda Rousey said it best, “I am not looking to escape the pressure. I am embracing it. Pressure is what builds up in the chamber behind a bullet before it explodes out of the gun". I am at peace knowing I am ending my 2016 season probably the healthiest I have been in the last 2 years. Sure I still have aches and pains here and there, but nothing substantial. I feel good ending the season and being able to have an "off season". These last 2 years have brought injury that made my summer racing somewhat a dud and made me want to keep racing through the winter to "make up for it". I haven't had an actual "off season" to rest and recover and build back up. I am at peace knowing that time is right around the corner. I am at peace with being a support for Matt as he continues to train and work towards his Ironman goal. I am also at peace for why I do this crazy sport. I am doing it for me. I love spending time with my husband, supporting him, and building our relationship together in this special way. I like to travel. I like to meet new people. I like to push myself. I get all of that from this sport.
4. Nothing comes easy
Do I want a world spot for next year? Absolutely. Am I going to be heartbroken if I don't get it at Steelhead? Nope. Because I know that one day it will happen. This sport is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. When I started out, I was winning and thought I was pretty awesome because I was just an athlete dabbling in this sport and kicking butt. Because of my early success in smaller races, I thought it was going to keep being easy. WRONG AGAIN. I was quickly humbled when I started doing bigger events and seeing what kind of competition is out there. Before my first Age Group Nationals I looked at the previous years times. I quickly realized I have a lot of hard work to do and I would have been happy with top 100. (I did finish top 50, but yikes, there are some fast ladies out there!!) I am at the beginning of racing and need to slow down yet again in my own expectations. I KNOW I am capable of the goals in my head, but I just need to respect the sport, follow the process and let it come. I can't say with 100% confidence that I have done everything I can to be at that next level in my ability that I know I can be at. I know that there are a good chunk of my workouts that I am not even present for. I was listening to the Fat Black Podcast and they were talking about when you show up for the race, you have to show up. Meaning, be present in what you are doing. For example, how often do you see a couple eating dinner and one or both partners are on their cell phone. Would you say that those two are present in that moment? I wouldn't. We must be present in the workouts and the races. I have found myself going through the motions and becoming distracted too often that it excites me to know that I have so much more potential to EARN my world spot and my top spots in the age group.
I had the privilege to swim with Coach Jen this summer.
The first time I did I found her feet and stuck to them like glue! The whole time we were swimming out, I was thinking a couple things. First, I was thinking wow, how lucky am I get to swim with my stellar coach. And my second thought: wow, how lucky am I that I get to swim off my stellar coach's feet and have my coach do all the work for me ;). I felt great on those swims swimming out. It was awesome to practice swimming off feet when that is something I have been working on and knowing the pace would be decent (my coach is fast!). So then we turn around. I was humbled again. She took off and I just couldn't catch those feet for the life of me. It made me happy though. Nothing is easy. This has been the most important thing I have learned in the past two years. I have to work for what I want. I want to be able to swim with Coach Jen for an entire 2 mile swim. I've already told her this, and I know it won't be this summer or next summer, but one day I will do it. And getting there won't be easy.
5. Be Courageous.
I have had some negative experiences while learning this sport. I have bonked. And I have bonked hard... My very first HIM at Muncie I didn't know nutrition... Oops! I slowed down A LOT in the 2nd half of the run and after finishing I had people from the med tent coming over to me asking if I needed help. I was stubborn and probably did need their help but didn't take it. At Illini I overrode the bike and paid for it epically on the run... Because my heart rate was so high on the bike my body did not process the nutrition to use that I was running on empty. I had tortured myself. There was another race that I decided to push through injury to finish 3rd overall and paid for that the rest of the summer... I have allowed myself to fear feeling bad more than wanting to push myself to do well and win. Not this time! :)
Ronda Rousey said it best in her book, My Fight Your Fight: "People say to me all the time, "you have no fear' I tell them, no, that’s not true. I'm scared all the time. You have to have fear in order to have courage. I'm a courageous person because I'm a scared person". I am so excited to race courageously. I have no words of wisdom for this one... Yet. I know I need to overcome the fear and push through and I will let you know how it goes after the race.
And we all need to be courageous in all we do because, YOLO! :)
So Steelhead... Will I end top in my age group? I sure hope so and I will fight the whole time, but that isn't my focus. My top goal is to PR in each discipline (except for the swim :) --- Let me explain. My "PR" swim is in Panama. We swam in the Panama Canal (pretty dope, right) and we swam WITH the current. Once they opened the locks, the water RUSHED in the direction to the swim finish. While treading in the water for the swim start you had to hold yourself back from moving forward. Soooo... That was a FAST swim because the water did 40% of the work. I'd like to race faster or comparable to each of my top times. My run is the one I REALLY want to PR in. This is all dependent on the weather and my own nutrition choices. We have been fortunate to have great weather these last couple weeks. Even if these times don't get achieved because of weather, I know that I will be at my best effort for whatever the day brings. So here's to being courageous and ending the season with a bang!
