Steelhead Strong
A week prior to competing at Steelhead I wrote a blog about how excited I was to compete. That feeling did not change throughout the week. I felt so completely ready for this race. My goal was to race strong throughout. I knew if I stayed strong, a PR was in my future. I imagined the race many times throughout the week. Every time I imagined how I would feel and how I would do. I just knew I was going to do well for myself.
I started back at school Thursday and Friday and on the drive from Park Ridge to Algonquin I listened to podcasts. The Fat Black podcast is one of my favorite triathlon podcasts and they were discussing one of the hosts' experiences in his last full Ironman. He referenced the 3 F’s: Fear, Familiarity, and Frequency. While he talked about this concept, I couldn’t help but relate. Unfortunately, my familiarity and frequency didn't have the same positive tone he was speaking of. My familiarity was fear and it seemed that it was then becoming frequent for me. I thought to myself that after Syracuse and how good I had felt then, my familiarity was starting to change. I am just now realizing how to race smart so that I can feel good in the race. In this same podcast they mentioned that too. You have to be smart at the start of the race and then you race to compete at the end. If you aren’t smart at the beginning and go too hard, you destroy yourself for the rest of the race in these longer distances. I felt that this podcast was a great one to motivate and prepare me for my next competition. My focus was on me and creating my own familiarity and frequency of how I need to feel and push so that I can overcome that fear that I have had.
Saturday morning didn’t come soon enough. I was so antsy to race this race so that I could prove to myself I was going to be strong. Matt and I went to breakfast before we headed to Michigan. We got to Goldy’s in Park Ridge at 6:00, right when they opened. We had a delicious breakfast and started our trip. Once we got there, I did my bike warm up first so that I could start with Matthew. Matt had to do his long ride to prepare for Ironman Madison in September. While he was riding his 1st loop around the course, I then did my swim and checked in. The swim was SUPER choppy on Saturday. I actually had fun in the waves, but hoped it wouldn’t be this rough for the actual race. The waves were so high I couldn’t sight off of anything. I used the shore as a guide so that while I breathed I had an idea of where I was. The water felt nice, but I was comfortable in my wet suit. There was no doubt in my mind we would be wearing our wetsuits the next day because this is Lake Michigan for goodness sake.
After checking in, I picked up a sandwich and found Matthew finishing his first loop of the bike course. I had his nutrition for his 2nd loop, so I gave him what he needed and then proceeded to drive the bike course to see what I was in for. The beginning portion of the course seemed flat, smooth and nice with some rolling hills. Miles 15-20, the road was rough and bumpy. After about mile 20 you have another nice stretch of road. This course is known to be a fast course, so it was nice to see mainly flat roads with some slight incline here and there.
I saw Matt as I was coming back in towards the start. Stopped to give him some more gels and I was anxious to hear his perspective of this course after actually riding it. I had about 2 hours before having to meet back up with Matt to give him his running shoes for his run, so I went to check in at the hotel and take a teeny tiny snooze. Our hotel was nasty by the way. We stayed at America’s Best Value Inn. The bath towels were smaller than the towels Life Time provides you, the shower nozzles were leaking something black from them, our sink didn’t drain, we had a tube TV (no HDMI for our apple TV, bummer) and there were Band-Aids holding the batteries in the remote…
I picked up Matthew and we drove the run course. There were a couple bigger hills I didn’t anticipate having to run twice, but as long as I stayed strong and steady I knew it would all be ok. We ate dinner, headed back to our glorious hotel for a little TV and went to sleep. YES I ACTUALLY WENT TO SLEEP!!! If you have been reading my last 3 blogs I have explained my struggle of sleeping before a race. I get so worked up, nervous and anxious that I barely sleep. I was talking to a wonderful friend about this problem. She suggested I try Tylenol PM. I am NO DOCTOR and I am not recommending this, but it worked for me. I only take half a tablet, and whether it was in my head, or I was that calm and confident about the race I was able to sleep, so hey, either way, I will take it!
I woke up race morning, looked at Matt and said, I AM SOO EXCITED!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO RACE!! I haven’t had this feeling for a long time. When I first started sprints and Olympics I was excited. These 70.3 distances have made me worried, anxious, scared, and unsure. This was the FIRST TIME I was so excited and I am so happy about that. That is the feeling you should have when you race, or at least I think so. As I mentioned in my previous blog- FIND JOY IN THE JOURNEY--- I am not doing this for money or big fancy awards, which just doesn’t happen at my level, I am doing this for me. To spend 5 hours doing something that makes you miserable is silly. You have to ENJOY IT and I can confidently say I am actually enjoying this distance now. Of course there are times while I am racing that I feel miserable, but I enjoy the feeling of satisfaction and joy when I reach those milestones and cross that finish line and to overcome those hard spots is rewarding and makes me a stronger person.
We get to the race sight and I’m in transition setting up my stuff. I come back to find Matthew talking with another triathlon friend and Matt looks at me and says, “You know it’s not wet suit legal, right?” I had NO clue. It is almost unheard of for Lake Michigan to be non wet suit swim. For those of you reading this that don’t know what that means, let me explain. In Ironman competition athletes can wear wetsuits in water temperatures up to 76.1 degrees. If the temperature is above 76.1 and below 84 degrees, you can still wear your wetsuit, but you are not allowed to be included in age group awards. Above 84 degrees it is too hot and dangerous to wear a wetsuit and is not allowed. Thankfully I had my swimskin, but I left it in the car because it’s Lake Michigan! When is Lake Michigan above 76 degrees?! When Matt was going to swim Racine the water temperature was 57!!! YIKES!!
Matthew and I are really enjoying this whole you race and then I race thing instead of always racing at the same time. (Well, I am at least :) Matthew raced Racine and I had a blast being his Sherpa and cheerleader, so for Steelhead it was his turn to Sherpa. So guess who went back to the car--- yup, MATTHEW :) It was super humid that morning so he came back pretty drenched.
The Race.
Swim- My goal was around 32 minutes... OOPSI! 36:51.....
As I approached the start buoys I stood next to a girl who looked like she was about to blow us all out of the water. Now, first lesson I have learned is that you cannot judge a triathlete by the way they look. Some girls look like they will be rockstars and then they don't perform as well as you think they will. Others might look like this is their first race and then they smash you. I looked to the girl and I asked her, "are you a swimmer?" (she just looked like a swimmer). She said she enjoys all 3 and really didn't want to blow up in this race. She seemed nervous and I didn't know why. I told her I highly doubted she will do that and I thought she would do well. The horn blew and we were off.
I felt so strong during this swim. My first mistake was that I started swimming too early. It was more shallow than I expected once I started. Not only did I start actually swimming too early, I wasn't sighting very well to the first buoy. After I got to the first buoy I thought my sighting was pretty on point.
There were quite a few swimmers I came to that would swim breast stroke. It drove me nuts because I didn't want to get kicked by them. And yet after the 2nd turn buoy I did manage to get kicked in the face anyway... I keep swimming and just keep thinking I feel strong and good and I'm about to have an awesome day. The water was a lot calmer than the day before, it felt great and as soon as I started to run out of the water,
I was excited to look at my watch and see what I had done... My heart sank a little bit when I saw the time. I thought I had gone so much faster. As I was leaving the water, I had the thought that my overall goal time was kind of out the window at this point, so I figured finish this race well anyway.
Transitions- 3:26, 2:28.
My 2nd and 3rd mistakes in this race- my transitions. After the swim I was clumsy and struggled getting off my skin. I felt like I was going in slow motion. I have mentioned before that my transitions are far from the best aspect of my race, but I'd like to think I have become better than this performance. When I came back in after the run, I even ran past my rack which was embarrassing and time wasting. The awesome part of these mistakes is that they can be fixed and as my coach says, "It's free time!"
Bike- 2:36:22, 21.5 MPH AVERAGE! :D WHAT?!?!
After Matt rode the course twice the day before, he told me that the beginning of the course was fast so my average speed will probably be high and then it will slowly decrease as the course went on. That is what I was anticipating and I was hoping to average about 20.5 mph (which would be my fastest half ironman bike split yet). When I saw my averages at the beginning, I knew my goal was in sight. As the bike continued I realized there was a good chance I could hold an even high speed average with the average watts I wanted to hold. This course is known to be a faster course, but I was so proud to be at the top of my age group to validate I did well.
As I rode I had 3 men that told me they really liked my bike name "SASsy" as they passed. It made me smile. There were a few men that I would catch and pass and then they would catch me again and so on and so forth. It was nice to keep my speed/averages/watts/effort in check. I believe I only had 2 girls pass me at the beginning of the bike. When they passed, I knew it was still early so I had to stay smart and not get too far ahead of myself too early. When I turned to come back in to transition there is a quite long "no pass zone" path that leads you in to transition. It was nice to undo my shoes and be calm and collected, but a little annoying that I had to keep the pace of whoever was in front of me. I was very proud of that bike and how strong I felt with each stroke. I never once doubted I was pushing too much to pay for it later. With the training I had I knew where I needed to be. To continue to become more competitive, I need to keep increasing my bike power and speed, I am so excited it is going in the right direction.
Run- 1:44:48, 8:00 min/mile pace
I felt great going in to the run. My nutrition was great on the bike and my legs felt a little tired from pushing such strong watts for the first time in a HIM, but I was ready to run. I shook out my legs, saw Matt as I left transition and I could see how proud he was of me already. He knew I was having a great race and he said to me, "See you out there!" I was excited to know I would be seeing him again on the course. I saw another triathlon friend out on the course a few times and his support and cheers was really motivating for me too. Just before the first 1/2 mile I caught one of the men that I biked with on the course. I didn't notice it was him until he said to me, "Great bike! Now have a great run!" I smiled at him and told him the same.
The run was mainly open with little shade. Inside one of the loops there is a path you take that has some really nice shade. I knew I would be doing that part again and was excited to come back to that portion of the run. I was very inconsistent in my pacing. There were times I was between 7:30 and 7:45 and then I would look at my watch and see an 8:20 min mile. I was hoping for the 7:45 average, but I knew that as long as I kept moving, I'd still be proud of the run. There were some inclines on the run that were steeper than I expected, but as other people walked, I just kept one foot in front of the other and tried to keep my heart rate calm.
I saw Matt again just before the start of my 2nd run loop. He had a smile on his face and I gave him a high five. As I was running I thought about when I first started this distance it seemed like 13 miles was going to take forever and mentally I struggled with it. During this race, I kept thinking, wow, I only have 5 miles left, I've got this. It's amazing what that familiarity, frequency, proper training and a healthy body can do.
There were many 30-34 year old women passing me on the run. I couldn't help but think-I am scared to age up! That is a fast age group!! As one girl passed me she said, "Don't worry, I'm not in your age group". (I wasn't worried by the way- she was going FAST, I wasn't going to keep up with her).
So then my 4th and final mistake that I need to learn from with this race: I found a girl in my age group. With one mile left I was right next to her thinking I've got her. As soon as she looked over and saw me, she was not having it. She took off and I kept my pace. I SHOULD have pushed myself and stayed with her to fight for that place, but decided not to. I figured, I knew I wasn't top 3 so it didn't matter. WRONG! Apparently in ironman events, TOP 5 get awards... Guess what place I had just let get away from me. 5th.
I turned the corner for the finish and saw I would be just under 5:04 and I was SOOO happy. My goal was ME today. My goal was to race the race I wanted. I was able to prove to myself that I can be a competitor at this distance but now I have to WANT it.
I raced each discipline strong. The swim was not the time I wanted, but I know I was strong. I talked to others that had a slow swim too and it seemed to be a common trend on the day. Except for the girl I spoke to at the start of the swim, remember her? Well, I was right about her. She ended up being the OVERALL female winner with a time of 4:25! I found her after the race and asked her how she did (not even knowing). She was so humble and said she had a good day. I then asked her if she was taking her world spot (seeing if there was any reason for me to stay for roll downs or if I could go home). She then told me that she was getting her pro card next year and wasn't allowed to take the spot. And she was worried of "blowing up" in the day... Well it makes me feel better that I am not the only one who has those fears.
So... did I race courageously? I don't think I did yet. I raced strong. If I had fought for 5th the way I should have, I think that would have been courageous. But I am still so proud of myself with this race. I had my best bike/run combo yet! I doubt my abilities often and this race proved that I can have the ability to compete. I look to others' belief in me to carry me through, but I am just not starting to find the belief in myself. I have areas that I can take off time and be able to get higher in my age group. My next steps are learning how to dig deeper, find my courage, stay focused in my training and fight for the top spots I want because as I said in my last blog: NOTHING COMES EASY.
Thank you to everyone who has been supporting me!! One friend wished me luck with Ryan Gosling :) I usually keep these things to myself, but the more I have been putting out there about my experiences, the more support I get from you and that feels really empowering. So thank you for helping me believe in myself.
I am super excited that I get to focus on recovery and training now that I don't have any more races scheduled this year. My next event is cheering on Matthew while he takes on his very first FULL ironman at Madison on September 11! It won't be my race, but I plan on blogging about the sherpa experience and how Matt feels about the full distance. It's going to be an incredible experience :)
